Balancing Deen and Duniya: A Guide to Islamic Parenting in the Modern World

Generally speaking, Parenting is a challenging task indeed and in today’s world, should be geared towards building a strong relationship with one’s children that is centered upon mutual respect and clear communication. There should be a continuous effort to inculcate a love for the religion and its practices along with encouragement towards being better human beings through positive reinforcement.

Today’s Muslim parents have a daunting responsibility ahead of them: Raising the Muslims of tomorrow in a world that continuously attempts to thwart their efforts, physically, psychologically, emotionally and socially. While it may seem impossible to succeed in this task, it is quite possible to raise the generation of tomorrow in a manner that integrates both Islamic and worldly instruction so that they become exemplary Muslims who have the know-how of their contemporary world. From a religious perspective, children are an Amanaah from Allah and it is incumbent upon parents to provide their offspring with a good upbringing.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,

‘When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him.’ [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Balancing Deen and Duniya: A difficult feat?

If only religious instruction is imparted without any experience of the world, a child might find himself faltering and less knowledgeable when he associates with other of his age and in extreme cases might be ostracized. On the split side, if the religious instruction is restricted, the child could potentially develop a distaste for it and distance himself from Deen and thus, jeopardizing his Akhirah. With the cons of both sides considered, it is prudent to note that an upbringing that involves both the Deen and the duniya, with the idea that Deen is the priority, is a highly practical and effective way to raise the generation of tomorrow which is, Deen-personified, moderately secular and well-aware of the world around them. 

Children are quick learners and often surprise us with the alacrity they pick up things. While in theory it seems very difficult, when you start instructing your children in the ways of the world along with the teachings of their religion, apart from a few hitches, they’ll figure out how to incorporate both elements into their lives. This task will be considerably easier if their parents are a living example of what the child is being taught. For example, if a child’s parents continue to say thank you while encouraging him to say JazakAllah for gratitude, he will end up saying what the parents are practically showing him. If the parents start saying Thank you, JazakAllah, and instruct him to do the same, he will eventually learn to say it as one and appease everyone.

Deen-Duniya Parenting Blend: In Action

While every parent strives to do his very best and often the instinct serves as a positive guide, it might be beneficial to go through some parenting tips that may help you succeed with your child especially if he is being brought up in an Islamic environment along with secular education.

1. Parents as Guides and Role Models:

Be the person you want your child to be or at least endeavor to do so. Young children are constantly evolving and learning the best way to act in their environment. Nurture the good in your child and ensure that you’re not acting against what you’re teaching your child.

2. Introduce Islam in a Fun Way

Raising a child in today’s world to be a good Muslim can be a challenge indeed but it can be achieved if significant effort is made to provide the child with an Islamic environment that promises fun and reward. Children are more likely to get involved in religious activities if they are introduced to them in an interesting way. Oftentimes children are coaxed towards Deen by scaring them with the concept of Hell and Allah being unhappy with them. We are more likely to see fruitful results if they are taught about the virtue of a certain act of worship in an interactive manner and incorporated with games and activities along with motivating them to seek reward and ultimately Paradise.

3. Communication

It is wise to communicate with our children as if they are respected individuals and what they have to say is important. A child will be more open to learning if he knows that he has an audience who will pay attention to what he has to say. Especially when a child is faced with a conundrum which he cannot find an answer to, he might be hesitant to approach his parents if he is expecting a negative reaction. It is best to keep an open mind and listen to what they have to say and then answer their question in the best possible manner without shunning them or castigating them and deal with empathy and compassion.

4. Introduce the Love for Quran

The Quran is extensive in its instruction in every field of life. If an effort is made to inculcate a love for the Quran in a child, it will last for years and automatically draw him towards the Holy Book and not just to recite or memorize it but to endeavor to learn from its teachings. A baby can hear the Qur’an from his mother’s womb and by the time they are born and they hear it in their surroundings, they are already familiarized with it.

5. Home: A Safe Haven

A child should be secure in the knowledge that his home is his haven. An upbringing that involves both Deen and duniya might at times worry the child especially when he interacts with his peers. It is imperative to give the child a comfortable happy home filled with laughter, love and affection and that in turn will make him more receptive to learning. Parents should keep their quarrels to the bedroom and not let them ruin the child’s day. Many a times parents tend to take out their frustration on their children which is definitely going to make a mark in the child’s mind.

6. Positive reinforcement

Between the carrot and the stick, the carrot (or any other reward for that matter) holds a high probability of reaping good behavior from children rather than scaring them with consequences of disobedience. Positive encouragement works wonders and the child is more likely to develop interest in what he’s being taught than through frightening him.

How DEENIN’s products can help with Islamic Education

DEENIN is committed towards promoting a lifestyle that is deen-led but with the accepted worldly elements and we are continuously trying to bring innovative products to the market that will make things easier for you when you’re careening down the very rough and rocky path of parenthood. The DEENIN Kids Hajj Adventure Jigsaw puzzle is a wonderful educational puzzle that not only captures the attention of the young ones with its bright colours and vibrant images but also intrigues the curious minds and encourages them to ask the why, when, where and how’s of Hajj. More creative products are soon to follow Insha’Allah.

 Bibliography:

Ho, J. (2018, July 9). Five basic principles of Islamic parenting. ProductiveMuslim.com. https://productivemuslim.com/islamic-parenting/

Name. (n.d.). 15 positive parenting tips for Muslim mothers. Desi Doll Company. https://desidollcompany.com/15-positive-parenting-tips-for-muslim-mothers/